MMS
Since when did child-bearing turn into all-out war against the general, not-so-general, regular and altogether unknowing public? World-wide, mothers are taking to the streets in their droves, driving regular non-child-bearing people from the pavements and somebody, sometime, has to take a stand about this. This is not a vendetta, if you were wondering. I have never been rammed off the pavement by a Mother-terrorist. It is simply one man exercising his freedom of speech and providing a stark warning to everyone out there…so they don’t stumble across this problem like I did one day. So they can adjust their mental state accordingly, instead of having it adjusted for them in one harsh, terrifying episode!
I know, it seems slightly harsh; but let it be known I am definitely not mother-ist–how can I be? I came from Mother myself! And this is not aimed at every single mother (only roughly 99.2%). No, there must be at least a hundred mothers world-wide who know where I am coming from. Mothers who wouldn’t dream of going side-by-side on standard pavement. Mothers without tunnel-vision who can actually crack a smile.
The thing is, in some ways human-beings and pram technologists—for want of a better word—have created Monster-mother-syndrome. By engineering extra-wide prams to house extra-wide-bottomed children, and enabling these space-age contraptions with all kinds of features, they have grown prams to such a width that even one space-age pram practically fills the width of a pavement. And what is the answer to Monster-mother-syndrome? Here it is people. In my opinion, the next logical step would be to create Mother-only lanes on the pavement. It’s been done for buses, taxis (and probably even ducks and sheep in deepest