Snobs
I am sick of the mobile phone snobs! Who do they think they are? I still remember the last visit to the mobile phone shop; I believe I always will–
I had gone to talk to one of the fine suited gentleman about getting a new phone and a different tariff: that was all I wanted. But when I arrived the man—Derek, gym-fit, neat blonde hair—asked to have a look at my phone. This immediately sent a shiver down my spine. When asked what my old phone had to do with anything, Derek said, “you can tell a lot about someone by their phone–It’s like seeing someone’s soul.”
This troubled me; I am very picky about who I let see my soul. But Derek assured me not to be nervous. He had seen every phone there ever had been and would not be surprised by mine–
Derek almost collapsed when he saw my phone. He started to sweat profusely and looked very ill. Then a smile swept across his face. “Oh my god–” He said, one hand frantically calling up a contact on his Blackberry. “…Which museum did that come from? It looks fossilized!”
I waited for Derek to finish with his mobile phone, then said, “It’s just a Nokia, my friend.”
He asked when I purchased it. I said “Seven years ago.”
Derek looked crippled by some demonic force, then he burst out laughing. I sat there for half an hour while he called everyone he knew to tell them about the relic he had just stumbled over–
What is it with mobile phone sellers? I don’t get it. Are mobile phones life? No, they are not! And my phone is as fit and worthy as anyone elses!
Suffice to say I came out of the shop with a phone that is just about as useful to me as a Botox Manchester clinic, and that cost five times more than I intended to spend–